Computin' Country Style


 EXCERPTS FROM THE COUNTRY FOLK'S COMPUTIN' DICTIONARY, PART I
 LOG ON:  Makin a wood stove hotter.
 LOG OFF:  Don't add no more wood.
 MONITOR:  Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
 DOWNLOAD:  Gettin the farwood off the truk.
 MEGA HERTZ:  When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
 FLOPPY DISC:  Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
 RAM:  That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
 HARD DRIVE:  Gettin home in the wintertime.
 PROMPT:  Whut the mail ain't in the wintertime.
 WINDOWS:  Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
 SCREEN:  Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
 BYTE:  Whut them dang flys do.

 EXCERPTS FROM THE COUNTRY FOLK'S COMPUTIN' DICTIONARY, PART II

 CHIP:  Munchies fer the TV.
 MICRO CHIP:  Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
 MODEM:  Whut cha did to the hay fields.
 DOT MATRIX:  Old Dan Matrix's wife.
 LAP TOP:  Whar the kitty sleeps.
 KEYBOARD:  Whar ya hang the dang keys.
 SOFTWARE:  Them dang plastic forks and knifes.
 MOUSE:  Whut eats the grain in the barn.
 MAINFRAME:  Holds up the barn roof.
 PORT:  Fancy Flatlander wine.
 ENTER:  Northerner talk fer, "C'mon in y'all."
 RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY:  Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
 MOUSE PAD:  That hippie talk fer the rat hole.